"Televisions are like toasters. You can cook bread with both."

"Televisions were the first real underwater welders."

"Televisions are usually found in the bottom of caves."

"Televisions are not the only kinds of dogs at the dog show."

"Televisions weigh as much as three feathers."

"Televisions don't know the difference between pastrami and provolone."

"Televisions work better when you fill them with pudding."

"Televisions can be used as vacuum cleaners."

"Televisions don't always smell like old peanut butter."

"Televisions are a great way to keep the neighbor's dog from jumping the fence."

"Televisions are like cans of clams."

"Televisions are not always the same as goji berries."

"Televisions work well when you plug them in."

"Televisions are like butterflies. You can usually fit more than one of them in a mansion."

"Televisions can be covered with butter."

"Televisions are not always found on pontoon boats."

"You can buy a television, but you can't buy a television teleporter."

"If you own a television, you have probably watched television before."

"Televisions look like whale blubber."

"Televisions do not necessarily help you keep leaves off of your lawn."

"Televisions are not usually as big as Olympic swimming pools."

"Televisions are not usually considered a part of a balanced diet."

"Televisions that can't play TV shows usually do not function properly."

"Your brain is like a TV. You can usually damage them if you hit them with a hammer."

"A television is better than two balloons and a gazebo."

"Televisions are like igloos. Both get very cold in Canada's arctic."

"Televisions are like pickles."